Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Wendy's Amazing, Fabulous New Year

I am going to buy one of these this year with Troy's face on it!

I have never successfully accomplished a new year's resolution.  I have resolved that I am truly a new year loser.  This year I would like to set a few small goals for myself, like...eating a banana all the way through or cleaning out the dryer lint trap once a week.  In the meantime, I do have a lot that has to be done this year...I am asking for prayers as I tackle each and every milestone ahead of me...

1)  I will turn 40.  I will be graceful about it.  I will not try to lose weight or stuff myself into a pair of 20 year old jeans with diamond crosses on the butt and wear high heels with them.  I will go ahead and buy elastic waist band pants and loafers.   I will look at my older friends and be envious that they look so stinking good for their ages and I will decide that I am so much wiser than my younger friends and offer them advice that I am sure they will value and appreciate.

2)  I will have a high schooler.  I will decide to home school her and then at the last minute send her on out of the nest to the big, bad cesspool of criminal adolescents who will try to get her to pierce her tongue and get a tattoo that says, "Mom."  She will survive, I am sure and I will be the mom who shows up at lunch with a little picnic basket in hopes that she jumps with joy upon seeing my arrival.  I am after all...her best friend.

3)  I will fly to another continent and wear a fanny pack and a beret that says "Wendy" on it.  I will only take enough tranquilizers as to not drool on my mother who is sitting next to me.  I will carry an emergency "ocean" kit that includes a floaty, flares, and a bottle of shark repellent.  After I get through the phobia of actually getting to my destination, I will shop, take pictures, and try not to act like an idiot American tourist.  I will become a world traveler this year.

4)  I will take a test.  I will more than likely fail it the first time.  I will cry and then I will go home, study some more, and eventually become very good at what I want to do, which is burst the dreams of some little girls and help a few others in their challenge to become champions.  I am sure I will make more than a few parents mad but I will be kind, sweet, and encouraging along the way.

5)  I will read more of my bible and less of the .99 cent deals on Amazon.  I will watch movies and television that are encouraging and uplifting.  I will try to tear myself from the rabid obsession I have with Dance Moms.  I will watch more movies that are in black and white!

6)  I will be a gym mom for the first time in 10 years.  I will try not to coach my daughter from the stands and instead simply allow her to be what God intended her to be.  I will not throw hot dogs at other mothers and I will remember that she is a not a gymnastics robot and will make mistakes.  I will love her simply because she is not perfect but perfect for me.

7)  I will kiss my oldest even when she smells like horse poop.  I will try not to throw any more of her electronics in the washer this year.  I will make room for her moodiness and remember there is plenty of space for two witches to live in harmony in a small house.  We will cut our eyes at each other and argue about bed times and music selection, but at the end of the day, we will cuddle together, with hot chocolate and watch "You've Got Mail" and marvel at how stinking cute Meg Ryan is with that short hair.

8)  I will stand by my man.  I will not iron his pants and I will borrow his socks without asking.  He will get frustrated with me and stomp out to his "man" house to build something out of marital frustration.  He will undoubtedly make fun of me for turning 40 before him and I will plot an even greater event to make his 40th birthday party very memorable (I made him a cemetery plot cake for his 30th). 

9)  I will serve the Lord!  I will make crafts at VBS without complaining and I will teach Sunday School if needed.  I will read my bible not out of guilt or habit, but I will yearn for the words, the comfort, and joy that God has breathed on the pages.  I will share what I have read and I will love neighbors with all my being. I will give God my year and trust Him to securely tie each day up with a ribbons of purity and righteousness!

I pray each and every one of you has a beautiful, precious New Year!  God has some great things in store for His children who seek him!

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